Dear WordPress:

Please stop changing the statuses of my posts from Draft/Pending Review to Published.  Nobody needs to see that.  I am aware that it’s partly my fault due to my login habits, or lack thereof, and that the auto-logout seems to make your client act a bit funny, but there is no need to expose your readers to the liminal and maddening void that lies sleeping just beneath reality itself, one day to awaken and devour space and star and man.  On that incomprehensible day, no amount of begging, no prostration, no benediction will preserve our sanity from the horror of even the merest stirrings of those vast and tenebrous things that exist beyond form, for whom our highest gods are beneath notice, but until then we should probably just chill and try not to think about it too much.

It’s a good thing nobody actually reads this, and that this is only a motivator to finish writing the things I start, because this way I don’t have to explain those duplicated paragraphs to anyone who saw them.  I will, though:  I am incredibly, psychotically picky about the wordings with which I say things, and commonly write paragraphs multiple times to see which one I like best.  I firmly believe that with the proper wording, a reader could be moved to tears by a description of how to make pancakes.  It’s probably an unrealistic standard to hold oneself to, but when you get right down to it, it’s not actually all that important to actually meet that standard at all.  The thing is to keep improving toward it, to never think “okay, this is as good as I wanted to be, now I’ll just maintain.”

A thing is only an amalgamation of circumstance, and circumstance alway changes.  Time always moves forward.  The you that began to read this isn’t the you that just read this line, and it’ll be another you still that reads my last sentence.  You are constantly being created and destroyed in every moment.  Maintenance, then, as well as anything that appears to neither proceed or degrade, is just a trick of perception.  It’s a pretty word for stagnation.

And you know, I don’t even like Lovecraft that much.  Or rather I like his ideas far more than the way in which he wrote about them.  Huh.

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5 thoughts on “Dear WordPress:

  1. it’s not real eeeezeeee findin’ the comment thingy.
    i wuzz gonna say lovecraft azzen h p?
    a person with whom i comment back&forth wrote that she thinx i’m a Hegelian proponent, or exponent. hmmm.
    i’d say i agree with what you said, but
    perhaps i do.

    • Yes. Have you read anything of his? On my last go-round, my addled teenage mind couldn’t get through it.

      I admit it; I had to look up Hegelian. That whole idea of understanding a thing by examining its opposite is familiar to me through other things I’ve read about, though. Thanks for giving me something else to read about.

      And I was just babbling because WordPress threw that draft up there right when it was a huge mess with lots of semi-duplicated paragraphs and whatnot. Anyone who saw it would have thought I was crazy. Being how self-conscious I am about my writing, I put it back into draft status, password protected it and generally overreacted, as I do sometimes.

      • i read a H P L book long ago. i (& you?) can say “long ago.” sumtimes i say to “kids” (anyone under 40) –> “back in the 1900’s …”
        oh, yeah: The DreamQuest of Unknown Kadath. I wuzz into reading weeurd pschidt at the time — and i can’t even remembrrrbrrr most the authors, ‘cept some of the storylyings.

      • I’m under 40 – thirty-two – so you can say that to me, sure. Don’t think I’ve read that particular story, but I do need to get that old book out (if it made it to my current apartment..) and read those stories again. Lovecraft is quoted somewhere as saying that he wanted to use the monsters and evil incomprehensible elder gods and whatnot as a backdrop for his characters to play against…and now that I’m saying this, I realize he probably meant it as a metaphor for the world being a cruel place that we kid ourselves into thinking we understand. Holy shit. It even fits with what’s recorded about his life; for him, it probably *was* a cruel backdrop. Sad. Still, I think that’s something I would like very much to read again.

        As for what I did read, In the Mountains of Madness is what I remember most. Oh, and Call of Cthulu.

        I like the silent p, by the way. Not sure why, but I do.

      • i think you have a (fer lackuvuhbeddurwerd) quasi-wisdom that/which belies yer age. you could be one of those fyzzycystz who, yoono, is an extrovert ==> looks at the other person’s shoes. heh.

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